28 September 2008

Consider the Source.


Today is day one of my new project:

I'm giving up swearing.

Not forever and in every context, I'm sure. But as I walk through South Philly and hear the negativity espoused by pretty much every person I pass- I find myself growing progressively more annoyed with it.

Does 'fucking' REALLY have to be every second word when someone talks? Are there seriously no other words that can convey your thought?
I've defended profanity for years arguing that no word itself is "dirty" or profane. That on a contextual basis the word pedophile should be much more taboo than the word fuck, since the word represents an adult having sex or sexual thoughts about a child. Words are symbols, sure. Sigils charged with meaning. It's not the meaning itself that I'm having a problem with, but the negativity that surrounds the use of it. The girl sitting on the steps- barely 15 who uses (and yes, I counted. Forgive me my OCDs) 10 culturally "dirty" words in the time it takes me to walk past her has a cloud of anger surrounding her that you can almost see. Seriously. How can a 14-15 year old be THAT angry, barking profanity/threats into her cellphone. A roof over her head. Judging from her appearance there's PLENTY of food on her table. And here she is spitting toxic-thought into the air with impunity.

I don't know if I can break my own conditioning. I'm going to use a punishment/reward system at first. Yes. A "swear jar" will be in place for every time I backslide. No, I won't feel 'morally' better for cleaning up my sailor's mouth. But my hope is that I feel happier without a cloud of negativity around me.

We'll see.

And yes. I know that I'm getting "kookier" in my old age. You don't need to tell me.

1 comment:

blankets said...

Worse yet? Getting called every foul name in the book on a regular basis by 8 year olds. It's sort of heartbreaking.

I miss you!! Joshua will be home soon, and we will totally need to come visit. :)