My trip to Ohio with the fellas was a godsend. A three day road trip full of third grade humour, greasy food and lots of hugs was pretty amazing and set me in a good mental place to process the breakup. Which I've been doing for the last few days now.
Tonight was the first major setback. I slid an unmarked CD into the car cd player and before I knew it, a mix cd that I made for Diana started playing. Emotional flood. All the time I spent combing the ITUNES Library for the perfect songs, teasing her that I was making her a mix-tape; all that emotion just sort of broke the levy that I've had in place since "the call" that ended our relationship.
It's sort of easy to process the termination of a long distance relationship. The night before we split, I was sleeping alone. The night after, the same. When you're used to seeing someone three days a month- it sort of takes a while for the ramifications of the breakup to fully and totally sink in.
I realized today that it's likely that I'll never see my best friend again. My lover. My partner. Someone who up until that point was everything to me- in one second- becomes someone who I'll never see again.
That's sort of sunk my mood, to be honest. I'm working through it; no use in lamenting over a reality that I can't change. But I think today may actually be the official start of my grieving process.