Consider the Source.

Today is day one of my new project:

I'm giving up swearing.

Not forever and in every context, I'm sure. But as I walk through South Philly and hear the negativity espoused by pretty much every person I pass- I find myself growing progressively more annoyed with it.

Does 'fucking' REALLY have to be every second word when someone talks? Are there seriously no other words that can convey your thought?
I've defended profanity for years arguing that no word itself is "dirty" or profane. That on a contextual basis the word pedophile should be much more taboo than the word fuck, since the word represents an adult having sex or sexual thoughts about a child. Words are symbols, sure. Sigils charged with meaning. It's not the meaning itself that I'm having a problem with, but the negativity that surrounds the use of it. The girl sitting on the steps- barely 15 who uses (and yes, I counted. Forgive me my OCDs) 10 culturally "dirty" words in the time it takes me to walk past her has a cloud of anger surrounding her that you can almost see. Seriously. How can a 14-15 year old be THAT angry, barking profanity/threats into her cellphone. A roof over her head. Judging from her appearance there's PLENTY of food on her table. And here she is spitting toxic-thought into the air with impunity.

I don't know if I can break my own conditioning. I'm going to use a punishment/reward system at first. Yes. A "swear jar" will be in place for every time I backslide. No, I won't feel 'morally' better for cleaning up my sailor's mouth. But my hope is that I feel happier without a cloud of negativity around me.

We'll see.

And yes. I know that I'm getting "kookier" in my old age. You don't need to tell me.

the Astronaut's Prayer

I'm very pensive today. Fussing over little loose ends so I have something to fixate on. Cleaning up the desk so my hands are busy. Today is a very succinct example of my recently reoccurring desire for some revelation, some emotional rosetta stone,  that will miraculously herd together all of my thoughts so that they'll make some sort of tangible sense. 

Instead I have anchovy stuffed olives and diet coke with a side of baked ritz crackers. 

As far as epiphanies today, the most I can offer is: Hot Sauce doesn't go with olives.

Change this.

"Moreover the term 'evil' is merely a rather cliched insult directed by the weak against the strong."

Friday night while waiting for my date outside of Chick's on 7th street, I was accosted by some well meaning but intellectually inferior followers of the risen Christ. I'm always game to debate with folks who follow ideologically different paths than I do as long as they can keep up and argue based on fact versus passion.

They did. 

Despite me calling them dopes for blindly following an improbably construct of belief systems cobbled together to form a dogmatic cult we got along famously. Once Amanda showed up I bid the lads farewell but was glad for the sport.

Fast forward to today at Tattooed Moms. 

This time it was politics and not religion that provided the grounds for a good debate. My opponent was Robin's date for the evening. While her arguments were naive and a bit silly she did seem to at least understand that not everyone agrees with her train of thought.

Robin's opponent on the other hand was obnoxiously repeating leftist drivel, progressively talking over her and getting more and more frustrated.  It reminded me that people who think with their hearts often don't think with their heads.

Here's a revelation: I'm voting for McCain. Deal with it. Of the two candidates he most exemplifies my politics. If Obama's CHANGE campaign is your cup of tea, I encourage you to go out there and rally the troops and get your man in office.

I would never think less of you for not thinking like I think... so why is it that the leftists (or as I call them.. the bumper sticker people- people who's politics are easily read from the torrent of stickers littering the back of their hybrid or VW) who think themselves the protectors of free thought FREAK THE FUCK OUT when you think differently than them?

I hear them say things like "I could NEVER be friends with someone who (fill in the blank)!". 

Really? I can be friends with people of all walks of life. Isn't intolerance something that they're against? Can you really not get along with someone who's not muttering "me too me too" when you espouse your beliefs? I think I'm a better person FOR listening to the arguments of people who think differently than me. Not people who're trying to change me or save me, but people who understand where I'm coming from and who want to drop their knowledge on me.

As Arnold and Willis Drummond taught me, it takes Diff'rnt Strokes to move the world. (yes it does) My disappointment with people continues to grow.

Acorns and Overalls

I've become, the simple souvenir of someone's guilt
Like the sea, I'm constantly changing from calm to ill
Madness fills my heart and soul
As if the great divide could swallow me whole
-City and Colour

Tonight is my first date with A.M.

I'd usually be a nervous wreck at this point; anxiety taking over and getting the best of me. Thankfully she's as clever as a clever and together we decided to have two "predate nondates" to allow for casual gettingtoknowyou time at a relaxed pace. So tonight is all about wearing a shirt that actually has a collar, making sure my hair is properly parted so I resemble a boy scout and trying to charm the pants off of my lovely date.

Not literally of course. 

This is a first date and with that comes a certain expectation of propriety that I'll follow to the letter.

Sure, I did get her drunk and coerce her to confide in me that her favourite flower is the gerber daisy the other night, but since it wasn't a date- totally acceptable.

Her only request of me so far has been "don't be a douche to me".

I think that'll be easy enough to comply with.

So that's that. First date in about three hours. 

Not nervous. Listening to Gordon Downie and trying on my new overalls. Deciding what shirt to wear and if I should trim my beard (no) and shape my eyebrows (yes).

Damn she's cute.